been holding on with a lot of difficulties these days..

i see u on the net,

but i cant talk to u.

just because it's awkward and i dun know how.

i felt suffocated, till the extent i have to stop doing things and take multiple deep breathes.

yes, it is that bad.

my friends scold me as to y did i even choose this period to do such things.

i told them because u somehow have the ability to affect my daily living,

and i needed to put an end to it.

but it was also a bet, to see for your response when i meet u then,

most probably for the last time. 

it's been a week now. 

so far, i have only cried once, 

but for some other things.

i am still learning on how to cry,

yes, i am that much of a coward.

and i am still learning to express my real self more,

and yes, i am that much of a pretender.

i look forward to getting the answers to my questions from u, 

and i look forward to selfishly express myself to u,

so i can look forward to letting go of u,

and look forward to meeting some other ppl. 

but then again, how long will i take?

will i be able to hold on till then?