problems? solved!

problem 1: hostel

finally gotten my own room.. and what's best is that i got one near to my coursemates and is a single room~~ whee.... haha.. i'm so thankful i couldn't express it.. :)

really, everything happens for a reason.. this experience have taught me to appreciate help from others, to be patient and to keep the faith in God.

problem 2: friendship

i'm not sure whether it's a problem or not (lol) but let's just jot down some thoughts...

i think i may have seen some real personalities of those around me but i dun wanna comment much.
however, i have learnt tat to really survive in the outside world, we must learn not to depend on others too much. and i do mean in all aspects. unless they are ur soulmates like my 5 besties. but really, the lesser u depend, the lesser hurt u will get. :)

problem 3: u

i think i'm at a stage of plateau with relationship stuff. the feeling now is like, ok fine, if i get u, i get u. if i don't, the world doesn't end.

i'm taking a bet, against ur reactions to my promptings.
the dateline is still one month away, so let's give it our all shall we? :)

an emotional post late at night...

life's been a roller coaster ride these past few weeks.
one second i'm smiling like an idiot and the next, i feel like i drop to hell.
maybe it's the hormones tat are making me a mess (cheh.)
but for once, i'm emotionally imbalance.

i don't know what i want,
i don't know what to do,
i don't know how to move on,
and i don't know how to cry.

i've been motivating myself this whole time,
but i dont know how long more can i hold on.
i'm sick and tired of all the drama around me,
and i just wish i have a place to hide and feel safe.

the smile is getting faker by the day,
even i can't really accept the me now.
maybe i just gotta learn to turn a blind eye on things,
for the sake of my poor heart which has been bearing a lot of emotional stress these days.

they say the loneliest person laugh the loudest
and the weakest person smile the widest.

and i couldn't agree more.

没有感觉。。

有时候，我很希望我是个冷酷，没感觉的人。
在我现在的生活里，不知是自己太感情用事，如此幼稚和依赖人，
还是现在的人，八成是假的。
竟然为了这点小事搞emo，看来自己还不够坚强。
可是， 我很感谢因为这件事而有了你的陪伴。
真的，谢谢你。
我会努力的。：）

emotionally drained..

it's the start of a new semester, but the hostel living environment is giving me a headache.
i'm currently in denial to accept the place so i'm literally running away from reality.
after the cleaning, it did actually started to look more like a place suitable for living, except the toilet.
i think i prefer more of an emotional support to actually live in tat place becoz i'm feeling lonely there.
sure, i know my current housemates, but i dun think we have the right frequency.
if only i actually have a coursemate living at the place, i would not have hesitated to accept it.
because, wat am i to do if they all have classes and i don't.
i dun really like the idea of being alone at that place.
am currently praying for a better situation either way.
also to keep telling myself to have faith in God's decision.
I feel his presence in mass today and i was so overwhelmed i nearly cried.
He was there and he answered my questions again.
although this semester started off on the wrong note, i sincerely pray tat the rest of the semester will sail on smoothly.